On the one-year anniversary of his death, Trump’s remains were entombed at the National Donald J. Trump was dead, and now it was time to start glossing over his dismal legacy and perpetuating his vision, posthumously, for Making America Great Again. Some said cocaine and opioids had been found in his system, but these reports were never confirmed. Medical examiners said it was a thrombotic stroke, likely exacerbated by obesity and high blood pressure. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, he passed with all the fanfare of a fart in a mesh sack.
Prologue: The Aftermathĭespite the odium and widespread condemnation of Donald J. Trump, the petulant idiot, or anyone else named herein chooses to sue me, and if a judge or jury agrees that I have defamed that person in any way, I hereby declare that I will blow out my own brains, for I do not wish to live in a world devoid of commonsense. The reason is that I refuse to believe, despite some recent evidence to the contrary, that the average person is incapable of discerning facts from fiction. Several colleagues implored me to change the names in this book, lest I be sued for defamation-but I declined to do so.
Thank you! ForewordĪlthough some of the names and the underlying sentiment of this book are as real as a thrombotic stroke, the facts themselves are purely satire. I couldn’t have written this book without you all, and for that I am eternally grateful. Thanks in particular to Cicely, Colin, and Jennifer for very generously donating your time to proofread for me. Public Library writing workshops, thank you for reading my drafts and giving great feedback. To Chris and my fellow writers in the D.C. Thanks for reading my stuff and tolerating me when all I wanted to talk about was how to build bombs and trebuchets. Thank you, Mom, for loaning me your Edward Abbey books when I was still too young to understand their brilliance. This novel is an homage to The Monkey Wrench Gang. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.
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